Worn Out Clarity

I sometimes get these visions of brilliant clarity. They mostly result in me changing everything possible in my life. The need or maybe greed for ‘the understanding’ has seeped to the core.

I am hungry to know, to understand this ‘thing’ I am a part of because sometimes it just feels like a game without instructions.
And sometimes it’s as simple as breathing.

It’s all just a big mystery or maybe it’s the mist clouding the senses.

I haven’t decided if the world and everything in it are painfully complex or terribly, plainly simple.

The sometimes painfully complex world is a beautiful puzzle waiting to be deciphered.

The sometimes terribly, plainly simple world has the allure of the sirens.

I believe I’ll never be able to make the choice.
Because the possibility of it being everything all at once is the most probable one.

Write to Exist

Writing makes me calm and gives me anxiety at the same time. Like my blood is pumping so fast that my veins cannot bear it, but it is the very thing that makes my body and soul feel alive. It’s the poison as well as the elixir.

I’ve been breathing for quite a while now,
Living on this beautiful planet for quite a while now,
But I still don’t feel like I am at home.
I need to justify my existence, and writing is the only way I know how.

I want to,
Experience,
Embrace,
Experiment.

I want to be worthy of the opportunity that is given to me. I want to feel and make others feel something,
Everything,
Anything.

I am a Mortal and I plan to exist till Eternity.

Reaping the Whirlwind

It’s like whirlwind.

We, humans, choose to suffer when we know exactly how to end the agony and sail in the sunset for our ‘happily ever after’.
We all are hungry for the drama, no matter how small.
Living in a manner that can be considered crude is our trademark.
I think there is familiarity in the behaviour and a little solidarity in knowing that I am not the only one digging my grave under the sky full of shining stars.

We leave the warm embrace and then question our sanity, our certainty.

We can’t make the other person hollow and not expect them to buzz.
And surprisingly we are all buzzing. We are all victims.
Who is the criminal?
Or are we just the classic example of ‘self-destruction’.

O mankind, where are you headed? Are you lost?

Yes.
No.

Maybe we are just reaping the whirlwind.

Wondering Away​

Wonder, I think might be my favourite word. It is simple yet holds endless possibilities. It’s like a cliffhanger.

I think I spend most of my waking hours wondering. It works as nectar and my buzzing just goes on and on and on.

I wonder about the future,
I wonder about the past,
I wonder about my existence,
I wonder about human’s existence,
I wonder a lot.
And in turn, feel a lot.

Or

Maybe I just like to think that I feel too much, that somehow I am possibly the only one amongst 7 billion humans who has just a little wide spectrum of feelings.

Or

Maybe it is just that pathetic need we humans have, to feel unique, to validate our existence.

The Blame Game

The feeling of HUMAN SPECIES being a parasite is getting stronger every day. We all want progress, development but paying tenfold the price for it, seems like a vapid idea. We all have a business person in us, but, it is slowly turning into a thief. A thief of natural resources, other people’s virtue and soul.

I believe you all must have heard about ZAINAB, the girl who was raped and murdered in Pakistan or about the Delhi rape and murder case or the Mathura rape case or Jessica Lunsford case or Sandra Cantu case, even if I write for days at a stretch I won’t even come close to finishing the list. And the irony is that all the malefactors blamed their deed on the victim.

We, humans, always find a way to pin the blame on somebody else so we stay clean. No matter if it is a crime against humanity or the course of daily life, taking responsibility is just not our strong suit. We cannot just take and take and take, and make the other person completely hollow and not expect them to buzz. The buzzing will soon make us all deaf and we will still be crying, asking, begging to know what is it that we did wrong!

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