I sometimes get these visions of brilliant clarity. They mostly result in me changing everything possible in my life. The need or maybe greed for ‘the understanding’ has seeped to the core.
I am hungry to know, to understand this ‘thing’ I am a part of because sometimes it just feels like a game without instructions.
And sometimes it’s as simple as breathing.
It’s all just a big mystery or maybe it’s the mist clouding the senses.
“I haven’t decided if the world and everything in it are painfully complex or terribly, plainly simple.”
The sometimes painfully complex world is a beautiful puzzle waiting to be deciphered.
The sometimes terribly, plainly simple world has the allure of the sirens.
I believe I’ll never be able to make the choice.
Because the possibility of it being everything all at once is the most probable one.
The colour wheel has been arranged in harmony, to suit the nature of colours and to please the eyes. Exactly like the shades of life.
We all experience life in primary colours.
There’s childhood- full of wonder and rapt.
Then comes adulthood- time for passion and ambition.
At last, comes old age- where the light starts to dim and the sound starts to fade.
But, is this all?
I would say no.
Because life also has secondary and tertiary colours, the colours you don’t know of or don’t think about.
My favourite is Lavender, the greyish purple or pinkish magenta or pale bluish indigo. For me, it is a feeling- lavender is hope and happiness.
My Lavender can be your teal or turquoise or cardinal. Life is made up of myriad shades, so live it in Myriad Shades. Sticking with the Reds and Greens and Blues doesn’t make a pretty portrait. And start living before you run out of shades.
I greeted the New Year with all the positivity I could find in me and planned the heck out of it. It’s only been a week and I have already read a book and have watched five movies. The New Year always brings a great promise, a promise that the dreams will come true and things will be exactly the way I wish them to be. I know it isn’t true or even healthy to believe, nevertheless, this is my reflex. I am one of those people who hardly stay awake after ten O’clock, but, there is something glamorous about the New Year’s Eve.
So, this year, for the very first time, I experienced the cliched moment of striking the clock twelve and feeling Utopia can very well be earth, with my friends. We weren’t in a club, soaked in liquor but in bed, discussing the spiritual realm.
The possibility of souls being trapped in purgatory or possibly they don’t or can’t leave because there is no afterlife, everything is here and now, no there and later. The possession of the human body and the extent of its destruction. There are so many strands being tied around our neck, I don’t understand why we choose to add to it. Anyway, there were a lot more to our skull session than just, spiritual realm.
And soon the yackety-yak turned into yawning and, the New Year was here.
I recently found an explanation to keep myself sane and not get annoyed or angry, I think. People can only see what they understand including me.
When someone makes a joke about being depressed they don’t understand the complex and dying scenario behind depression. I know all of us are dying but some of us can really feel the death and to understand that, one needs to see it and to see it, they have to understand it.
When we casually say ‘grow up’ the ulterior motive behind saying that is either ‘don’t bug me’ or ‘DON’T BUG ME.’ I know it is easier to look away and a lot easier to forget. But is it something that is a solution. I know you will feel guilty for looking away when that person is no more around, I know you will try to educate others when that person is no more around, I know you will blame yourself when that person is no more around but that person is no more around, whatever the reason.
Why do we want people to ignore it or just shake it off?
The answer is simple, I think, we do not understand it so we do not see it.
We don’t see:
People committing suicide
Our world getting darker
People asking for help
Air getting smokier
Our body getting weaker
The earth dying
He woke up sweating, panting and completely blue.
He got up and prayed to god to help him be alive, he wasn’t dead but he could feel death.
His soul was a prisoner of his body and he was drowning in the water which wasn’t there.
He laid down on the floor, the cool tiles felt good.
And now he is thinking about how the floor is cold and slowly forgot that his heart was trying to get out his body.
15 minutes later which felt like an eternity he started his day, normally, because this whole thing was completely normal for him.