Growing is a way of life.
A way to move forward.
I want to grow like wildflowers.
I want to possess that serene beauty and mighty calmness wildflowers seem to have.
I don’t need you to nurture me, nature is enough.
It has given me the tools, all it requires is a little faith.
I want to grow like wildflowers.
There is nothing wrong.
He is healthy. He is fine. He is doing what he loves, he is where he wished he could be one day.
But that simpering feeling is there. The feeling that churns your stomach. The feeling that makes you want to cry in the middle of a beautiful thing. The feeling that makes you feel the feelings you would not want to.
He is feeling that, tenfold. He is healthy. He is fine. There is nothing wrong, that the eyes can see.
Did you ever wonder about the mythical world of ‘The Mummy’?
Did you ever wonder to take up Librarian as a career because of ‘The Mummy’?
Did you ever wonder If you could be the one saving the world from ‘The Mummy’?
Chances are that you definitely did and my dear, fellow human being, I am with you on that train along with thousands of other people. Some are running after that train.
One of the things on my bucket list was to ‘Visit the Pyramids’ with a doodle of them on the front page. You see, I am dedicated to this list.
So, I found a volunteer project that could benefit me and give me a wonderful opportunity to go to Egypt. My friend and I hopped on the plane and landed at the magical hour of 2 am. And it all went downhill from there.
The accommodation was shit, the work was uninteresting and Egypt- not really what ‘The Mummy’ painted.
But it gave me an opportunity to meet countless nationalities, eat food I have never heard about and make friends for life. I will never forget the vacation cum internship that gave me a chance to understand a culture completely different from mine and let me actually live close to the ‘everyday’ life in Egypt.
It gave me a chance to fall in love with language and diversity all over again. It gave me a chance to learn the things about myself that I never knew existed. It gave me a chance to get lost and not worry about finding my way back.
And I did go to the pyramids which I am definitely pretty smug about. I remember saying to myself, ‘I’m miserable, but I am glad I’m miserable in Egypt’.
He is walking today, in the park.
He wants to see the sunset people talk about.
He wants to experience the calm people talk about.
He wants to be like people, people with smiles that reach their eyes.
He looks at birds chirping.
He looks at the clouds moving.
He looks at the people running.
He is walking today, in the park, one step at a time.
Sitting in his room, typing away at his laptop, he feels nothing.
The face does not have any expression.
The heart does not have any expression.
It’s one of those days, days where you feel nothing.
He’s wondering if it matters.
He is wondering what would happen if he disappeared from the face of the earth this very moment.
Will he be missed?- probably.
Will that last long? The missing, the grieving?- no.
Everyone will move on with their lives like he was never here.
Yeah, it’s one of those days.
Sometimes it feels like that life is not going anywhere. I am running but I am not really moving. It’s, as if I’m running on a treadmill. I spend days thinking maybe my legs have turned to lead or maybe I am not supposed to be running at all. I think about the world where I am not part of this charade.
The charade to be successful and treat this life, like a grocery list. I would rather treat my life as a bucket list.
I would take experiences over titles any day, I hope. I like to believe I have the calibre of understanding the inner workings of my complex mind and this beautiful world that I am part of.
I mean thousands of stars and universes have conspired for my existence so it must be something more than just running on a treadmill.
If we can believe in God, we can believe in anything.
It seems like a vast subject but in actuality, it is not. It is just faith. And even something as pure as faith can be exploited by us mortals, partly because it sounds stupid and partly because there are atheists.
No matter who we are, where are we, we all believe in something. But for some apparent reason, my faith is pure and the other person’s needs logic and sagacity.
I do not have a brother, just a little sister. People always found it hard to perceive that we are a happy family and that my parents are in acceptance of the mechanics of biology and that they love us both enormously and unconditionally.
The questioning, the thirst for a boy child has always bothered me and sometimes made me furious but my parents always had a smile on their faces. When people asked to try for another child, they would just laugh it off.
So, one day I let my curiosity get the better of me and asked them that why don’t they defend us or explain to people why are they happy with us.
And they asked me why do they need to. They said that they raised us to be confident and understanding humans. And we don’t need defending, ever.
We are enough on our own and they don’t need to prove that to every human being they meet.
They told me that if we believe in different things than others, it doesn’t give us a right to call them wrong. We all know what our circumstances taught us.
You can make people aware of the possibilities but you can never force your beliefs or faith on them. Never.
So, it all boils down to the fact that we, the inhabitants of the earth just need to have faith and a little acceptance and we can be a big happy family.